One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Each document involved in the creation of a dossier goes through many steps:

• We create documents or contact the entity who needs to create a document - doctors, banks, police departments, employers, psychologists, etc.
• We explain what exactly is needed - some comply beautifully, others refuse, need repeated explanations, or complete the task, but on their own timeline
• Each document needs to be notarized - creator of the document has to sign in the presence of a notary
• Notarized documents need to be authenticated - the U.S. government confirms that each document is genuine and provides a cover letter for each document

Last week, we took our final group of documents into the city to be authenticated.  Many were approved and authenticated.  Others, not so much.  

-One didn't have an approved signature (it had a signature, but was the police chief's stamp - not an original signature).

-One lacked precise language needed for the notary statement.

This week, we are contacting the entities from whom we need revised documents.  Some have said "we can't do that".  Others respond with compassion and do their best to accommodate the needs that are beyond our control.

While this "paper chase" can be frustrating, our few steps back pale in comparison to the extreme challenges faced by orphans all over the world. 

If you've been praying for the girls, please keep praying.  If you are keeping all of us in your thoughts, let us remain there.  Even if we don't connect with each of you every day, please know that we are grateful for your kindness and appreciate your support.

Insight from Friends

One of our new friends was introduced to us through our adoption agency, Adoption-Link.  Danielle is a grad student in Michigan who interned with the agency at the end of her schooling.  Once her internship was complete, she providentially determined to spend a year at the orphanage where the girls reside.


When Danielle returned home after a year of living in Haiti, she "prayed without ceasing" for a family to be found for the girls.  We were fortunate to meet Danielle last month, and continue to be in contact.  She provides us with a wealth of stories, memories, and insights into the lives of the children in the orphanage.


When the wind picked up this afternoon, and the rain began to fall, I thought I would share the following insight from Danielle.

One thing to think on when the girls come home is their fear of the weather.  It seems very irrational from an American perspective, but for them, it is a norm that exists no matter what age you are.  So many times, I had to explain my lack of fear of the rain to the kids and staff, asking them, "Are you afraid of the sun hurting your skin?  No?  That's because you have never had reason to be afraid of a sunburn.  This is how it is for me with the rain."  They understood, to a certain degree.  It's difficult to understand when your world has always taught you how quickly everything can change.  If it starts to sprinkle, the children will often run inside and watch from within the safety of the walls of the creche.  It is understandable when you think on the destruction that has been done in their country from rapid weather changes.  Rain, for example, has flooded the streets and uprooted homes, sending them crashing into other homes, taking lives.  Winds pull the metal "roofs" from homes and send them flying haphazardly.  Coconuts fall from the trees.  People die from these things.  They never know when it is coming and it causes them to sometimes live in fear.  

Pepper's Home!

Pepper has been home almost two weeks.  


We're learning that she loves to be anywhere our feet are; she loves to chew on her toys-and her tail-and her paws-and any part of people-and the furniture.  Fortunately, for her, she's really adorable and has a very sweet disposition most of the time.


A 10-week-old puppy is definitely ruling the roost.  Dad is doing a remarkable job of helping her establish routines.  She loves her crate, sleeps through the night, and does her business outside...some of the time.  


We have a great deal to learn.  Hopefully the puppy trainer will offer a great deal of sage advice.

Patience and Perseverance

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."                   
John Quincy Adams 


I always appreciate a Bible verse or great quote that provides an anchor - resonates in such a way as to push me, recharge my spirit, or create the appropriate spin for my attitude to adjust.


This week, we found out that our initial trip to Haiti may be delayed.  At first, we were obviously disheartened by this possibility.  We look forward to the minute when we can meet the girls and begin to build the foundation of our family.  However, I am purposely using words like "may" and "possibility", hoping for unusual timeliness - a miraculous flow of events that allow for a tighter timeframe.  


At the same time, however, we need to practice patience and perseverance.  We need to have the flexibility to roll with changes, and the faith to know that each step is occurring in just the right timing.   So, instead of traveling in May/June, we may be traveling August/September.  Either way, we're traveling.  Either way, we'll meet the girls.  We'll continue to persevere and watch those obstacles vanish.






  

Lifelong Learning

Many of you continue to ask us what the latest news is or how things are going.  In the last week, we had some important appointments that went very well, procured some additional notarized documents, and we are working on the final touches for one of the grant applications.  


For our continuing preparation, we will be taking part in another adoption training class, similar to one we completed years ago.  We are looking forward to refreshing what we learned previously and applying the content to this very different path.  Although we've been at this for many years, we always feel the need to learn more.  We know that we can't possibly learn enough to ever feel really prepared.  


However, every little bit helps.  :-)  So, here are a few titles we've enjoyed and one that is a current read.


Just a Minute: In the Heart of a Child, One Moment...Can Last ForeverWes Stafford - President and CEO for Compassion International
I was fortunate to hear Mr. Stafford speak recently.  He chronicles amazing moments that have impacted children in powerful ways.


Fasten your Sweet Belt:  10 Things You Need to Know About Older Child Adoptions
Jodi Jackson Tucker with Agnes Tucker 
This was one of the "right when you need it" books.  Jodi shares her family's story in a way that provides true insight and raised our awareness to the unique needs that accompany older child adoption.  Her invaluable experiences and openness heightened our level of understanding and opened our minds to the possibilities that may arise.


Currently, I'm reading Wounded Children Healing Homes:  How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families
Jayne E. Schooler, Betsy Keefer Smalley, and Timothy J. Callahan
Part One begins with the following quote:

Loving and living with a traumatized child means embracing a love like no other.  It is love lived out every day in a new and unfamiliar way.  It is commitment cemented through the challenges and struggles of uncertainty.  It is a life journey walked on unknown paths.  It is a faith, a hope, and a vision that the future will hold something far better than what you are experiencing now and perhaps ever dreamed possible.

 Just a few chapters in, and already this is a foundational read.

March Madness...of a sort

If you are anything like Wayne, you are reveling in this season of NCAA basketball-palooza.  Amidst our paperwork completion, studying expert advice, and signing up for classes, we will also be enjoying the march to the final four.

In addition, we will be enjoying  madness of a different sort.  Meet Pepper - the newest member of the Bickers/Hockett clan.  She will be joining us in just a few weeks.  We've all missed Gigi, my parent's beloved puppy, who was with us for 18 years.  Dad has wanted another dog for quite some time, and the rest of us didn't need much convincing.  A friend of Dad's was kind enough to allow us to choose Pepper as a new member of the family.

As you might imagine, dogs as pets are not prevalent in Haiti.  From what we understand, Haiti has watchdogs and dangerous stray dogs - people veer away from dogs.
Our hope is that we can all work together to train Pepper well so the girls will be able to meet her on their own terms.  We know how helpful dogs can be to the healing process. We are also hopeful that the girls will become comfortable with Pepper, learn how to interact with pets, and how to react when they are approached by other dogs.

Grateful

Grateful -adjective
warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful


While this definition comes close to what we would like to express to each of you, we don't know if there will ever be the words to truly express how much we've been lifted by your overwhelming love, support, and generosity.


Please know that any donations made, via Project Hopeful (the donation button on the blog), are all anonymous.  When I asked for a list so I could send thank you notes, they provided insight as to why this wasn't possible.  I understand their position completely.  So, on behalf of both of us, please consider this post as sincere appreciation for any donations, prayers, or support that you've shown.    


We've also included another glimpse of what's inspired us.  Steven Curtis Chapman has shared video spots, showcasing Show Hope, at many of his concerts.  This was is one of my favorites.  While the climb up this "Everest" of international adoption is intensive and financially overwhelming, the reason we climb is the only motivation we need; 3 amazing girls, hope for the future, limitless possibilities.